The War Between Spammers and ISPs/Mail Services
We (the community of responsible online small businesses) understand that
ISPs have to filter e-mail that we send to our clients. Spam is overwhelming
them.
Filtering algorithms and anti-spam software are complex, will only get more
so. And the volume of spam is in the billions. So mistakes are inevitable.
We recognize that and we stand ready to deal with the fact that an ISP will
occasionally delete a bona fide e-mail that we send to a client. After all,
we are all partners in the fight against spam.
When you're dealing with billions of spam e-mail, those "occasional"
mistakes amount to the hundreds of thousands of good e-mails that are
wrongly blocked daily. It's so common, ISPs and mail services have a
term for it... "false positives." (In a war, it's called "collateral
damage" and we are all at war... against spammers.)
False positives occur due to a near-infinite combination of reasons, that
usually involve some combination of the following...
- filtering e-mail is extremely complex and "false positives" are
inevitable, even in the hands of the most sophisticated and best
intentioned
- ISPs can set the tightness of the net of the filter, resulting in a
higher "false-positive" rate -- the overzealous ISP catches more tuna,
but also catches more dolphins by mistake
- honest marketing companies can become "accidental dolphins" in a
variety of way... using words in their e-mails that trigger filters by
mistake (ex., "income"), having affiliates who do something wrong
without their knowledge, having too many inactive e-mail addresses in
their list of customers, sabotage by unethical competitors, etc., etc.,
etc
- some filters are run by unfair, vigilante groups who are actually
more anti-business than anti-spam, and too quick to "shoot first and
never ask questions."
Yes, "false positives" are so common that
some ISPs and mail services take it for granted. Worse, they take
you and us, and our good will, for granted.
If you think about it,
here's the bottom line...
STEP 1) You want an e-mail from Good-Child-Guide, whether due to an order,
subscription, registration, or request for support.
STEP 2) Good-Child-Guide sends the requested e-mail.
STEP 3) Your ISP or mail service mistakenly filters it out.
STEP 4) You do not get the mail that you want.
Up to this point, we
all accept that this may happen. After all, your
ISP or mail service
is trying to protect you from spam. So...
As long as you can whitelist yourself and receive the mail you want (
as
described on our Whitelisting Page), there's no real damage done. We all
have to put up with some inconvenience to fight spam, as long as the ISPs
are doing
their most to keep your inconvenience down to the
"necessary minimum."
A Problem That We Hope Does Not Happen
To You...
The ISP or Mail Service that Does Not "Whitelist"
What worries us? We worry about your inconvenience. We worry
that you might think that somehow we here at Good-Child-Guide are at fault,
especially if you have trouble whitelisting yourself (for example,
Hotmail is notoriously ineffective at whitelisting, or "safelisting" as they
call it).
If you do not get our e-mail, please understand...
We are NOT at fault. We are "false positives," collateral
damage in the war between spammers and filters. And you, unfortunately, are
stuck here in the cross-fire with us.
And like we said, we can live and deal with that. But it may get worse...
If you have trouble whitelisting, contact your ISP or mail service's help by
e-mail, Web form, or best of all directly by phone. But beware, ISPs or mail
services who do not or cannot whitelist are at a big competitive
disadvantage. Why?
Because there are others who will gladly accept your business.
So... the support staff at an ISP or mail service who does not whitelist
(and they may not even admit this to you) may try to convince you that
somehow we are to blame (our customers have told us so). It is simply far
easier for them to use the credibility of their sheer size to blame us or to
say "it's at the other end," than it is to admit they are failing to
deliver what their clients expect... the mail.
If they refuse to accept responsibility, or if they try to confuse you with
one of a whole bunch of copy-and-paste excuses, blame, or misdirections,
clear the air of all the smoke and mirrors -- remind them of the
fundamental, common-sense, sequence of events...
STEP 1) You want an e-mail from Good-Child-Guide, whether due to an order,
subscription, registration, or request for support.
STEP 2) Good-Child-Guide sent the requested e-mail.
STEP 3) Your ISP or mail service filtered it out.
STEP 4) You did not get the mail that you wanted.
STEP 5) And now, they STILL won't give it to you,
even though you are insisting that you want it, even though you are asking
them to whitelist our domains (as
explained on our Whitelisting Page).
Then ask them what they don't understand about where the chain of events is
breaking. We have done our part (Step 2).
Even If You're A "Newbie,"
It's Clear Where The Break In The Chain Is
Review the 5 Steps outlined above. It's so basic... At the end of the
day, it's their "break in the chain" if you are not receiving the mail. So
the sincerest way to show your displeasure...
If you use Hotmail and they're giving you excuses, switch to Yahoo! Mail. If
your ISP won't whitelist, switch to a responsible one that will.
Ultimately, war or no war against spam, it is the perceived DUTY
of the ISP or mail service to deliver the mail. That is the level at
which the above sequence is breaking down.
Even if they hide behind technical jargon of "smtp servers" or legalistic
small print of "being private networks that don't have to deliver the mail,"
your answer is simple...
"Gee, that's a shame it wasn't clear in your
marketing materials. I wouldn't have to waste my time switching to a better
service that DOES enable me to get the mail that I want."
And it is as simple as that. So...
Ask them, one final time, to whitelist you. We are sending the e-mail
to the address you indicated. So it's up to your ISP or mail service to
deliver the mail.
They may claim not be able to whitelist for one or more reasons...
1) Your ISP will not do it. They may make up all kinds of
excuses, or even blame us, but the bottom line is that they are not
delivering e-mail that YOU want. Period.
2) You can't get their support group to tell you how to whitelist.
Either they don't answer you, or they dance around the question, or deflect
blame.
3) They don't provide the tools to whitelist, or the tools don't work, or
it's simply technically impossible for them to do it. For example, the
"safe list" at Hotmail does not work when you want to permit an address
through their filter. Their shortcomings have become your problem. Switch.
4) Your ISP responds to a whitelist request BY TURNING OFF THE SPAM
FILTERS COMPLETELY. That's like asking someone to put a gate in the high
wall around your house and the reply is... "Sure, we'll just take the ENTIRE
wall down." That is an irresponsible and self-focused response to a
valid request -- it merely turfs the problem back onto the customer, which
is an unacceptable reply. Do not accept this poor proposition.
There is only one good reason not to whitelist, and that is to block known
spammers. We don't spam. We never have. (And we would definitely want
to know of any ISP or mail service or filtering provider who claims that we
do.)
It's An Obvious Bottom Line...
You Want & Expect Your Mail
If you cannot whitelist Good-Child-Guide, consider these two inarguable
truisms...
- You expect to receive e-mail that you want.
- A company that can't deliver that basic expectation
deserves to lose your business.
No matter what the "reason" may be for not whitelisting, it all boils down
to the same thing...
Your ISP is
not fulfilling your most basic of expectations.
So What To Do??
1) Complain by sending an e-mail to "abuse@" and "postmaster@"
followed by the domain of your ISP or mail service (ex., if you are using an
address@hotmail.com, send your complaint to abuse@hotmail.com and
postmaster@hotmail.com). Mail to both those addresses has an excellent
chance of being seen by at least one person.
Click here for a sample e-mail to send. For this to work, customize
as follows...
a) To field: Enter the domain of the service. Continuing the "hotmail.com
example," where it says,
"abuse@<<ENTER-DOMAIN-OF-YOUR-ISP-OR-MAIL-SERVICE>>," enter "hotmail.com" so
that the "to address" now is "abuse@hotmail.com" (without the quotes).
b) Cc field: If possible, please keep the cc field as it is (to
us)... if they try to confuse the issue or say bad things about us, we'd
like to know about it. We have nothing to hide and are being open about this
-- please notice if they are, too.
c) Subject: Again, replace the
<<ENTER-DOMAIN-OF-YOUR-ISP-OR-MAIL-SERVICE>> with the domain of your ISP or
mail service. In the case of our example, the subject should now say,
"Hotmail, please stop blocking important e-mail that I want" (without
quotes).
d) Bcc field: If the "to" address of "abuse@" does not get through, the
"postmaster@" address will. Do the same thing for the
postmaster@<<ENTER-DOMAIN-OF-YOUR-ISP-OR-MAIL-SERVICE>> address that you
will see in the
Bcc field. After you replace the
<<ENTER-DOMAIN-OF-YOUR-ISP-OR-MAIL-SERVICE>> with the domain name,
cut-and-paste the address into the "to" or the "cc" field so that it is not
a bcc (we put it there for technical reasons, but it's more polite if your
ISP can see everyone who is receiving this mail).
e) Body of e-mail: Customize the body of the e-mail. Add your own
story and circumstances. Remind them of the 5 basic steps (above), if
necessary. Note the spots to enter your first name last name, and e-mail
address. Make sure that you use your e-mail address of the ISP or mail
service for extra weight/consideration, both in the body and in your "from"
address.
f) Proof-read it all. Once it's right, you are ready to lodge a
formal complaint.
g) Send it.
You might not get a reply, but regardless, it is important to register a
complaint when a company does not deliver the service for which you
contracted.
And we DO look at, and save, your complaints when you
cc to the Good-Child-Guide.com address in the above link.
What Else Can You Do?
2) Use a different email address and email us again at
support@good-child-guide.com , if
you are here because you have been having trouble receiving our
support-replies. (If you want to use a free, Web-based address,
Yahoo!
Mail receives our e-mail without any problem.)
One More Thing You Can Do To Register
Displeasure...
3) Register a Complaint with the Filtering
Provider
This is the interesting, unknown part of the "world of filtering." Filtering
providers are companies that provide filtering services for many ISPs and
mail services. They work behind the scenes, invisibly.
Since they provide the filtering for so many ISPs and mail services, even
Hotmail, there is a good chance that they are involved if you are having
trouble whitelisting Good-Child-Guide.com domains.
Click here for more information (takes you to a different company's
site)
We Are Sincerely Sorry For This Bother
This is
not our fault. If your ISP won't whitelist us, and instead
tries to confuse the issue or say bad things about us, please ask them to cc
us. As mentioned, we have nothing to hide and would love to remove your
inconvenience and discuss this directly with whoever is not letting you
receive e-mail that you want.
If they refuse to speak with us, if they refuse to cc us, please send us a
cc of their communications with you. Also consider which party is being
open, above board, and trying to truly help you.
No matter what they may say to make us look bad, it's really very simple...
We sent the mail.
You want the mail. It is your expectation to
receive it, no matter what they say.
We only ever send you e-mail that you specifically request and expect.
Please tell your mail service that you understand that false-positives do
occur, but it is unacceptable not to be able to whitelist.
Then change ISPs or mail services. And let them know why.
